


honeymoon

by jenhyung



Series: a series of domestic events [4]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Drama, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-03-17
Packaged: 2019-04-03 16:17:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13999893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jenhyung/pseuds/jenhyung
Summary: Taeil misunderstands. — Taeil / Youngho (College!AU)





	honeymoon

**Author's Note:**

> 10k+ of this was not the wip i was working on nor the 'johnil wip' that was listed on my wip list... but i couldn't stop thinking about it that i wrote this in eight hours... warnings of bad plot and bad writing and bad decisions fuelled by instant coffee (cries) please don't read too much into it...
> 
>  **asode time period** : year 1, november

“What do you _mean_ you haven’t seen him in a week?”

Taeil glares at Taeyong from his spot by a bench of the biology lab.

“I don’t know how to explain that self-explanatory statement, Yong,” he grumbles, shifting under three layers of lab coats discontentedly. The labs are always freezing cold, and, really, Taeil would never step foot into the science building if he had the choice. There’re just too many hazards around for Taeil to be functioning normally; he’s never understood how Taeyong, the clumsiest person on Planet Earth, could ever survive in such a place.

“Well,” he sighs, looking into a fancy looking microscope. “Are you guys fighting? Isn’t he usually all over you?”

Taeil curls his toes at the sound of that.

It’s true. Ever since they’d crossed the bridge from friends to lovers, Youngho has always been the one initiating. Guiding Taeil through the works of his first proper relationship, planning their dates so intricately so that they’ll have ‘first time’s of everything together (first time to the zoo together, first time to the national park together, first time to a live concert together).

Youngho even said ‘I love you’ first.

It’s safe to say that Youngho’s usually the one doing most of the legwork.

Not to say that Taeil doesn’t _try_ , because he really does. He asks Youngho out to weekend dates too and cooks for Youngho whenever the other is too tired from school to do it himself. It’s only been six months since they’ve officially gotten together, and this is the first time they’ve gone so long without talking, without seeing each other.

Youngho’s morning texts have dwindled from a cheery _Hey baby, good morning_ to virtually no messages at all. There were no late-night calls or supper runs. Youngho didn’t seek Taeil out during the day either, didn’t pick Taeil up from classes, didn’t take Taeil out for lunch anymore.

It was scarier that way; it wasn’t like they had a _fight_ and that they both needed time apart to calm down from it all, but everything just… simmered.

Taeil’s heart breaks at the thought of Youngho falling out of love.

Was he not what Youngho expected as a boyfriend?

“That’s rubbish,” Taeyong snorts when he admits these thoughts in a quiet voice. “This is the first relationship you’ve been in that didn’t end on the first date, Taeil. You’re being too hard on yourself, seriously.”

“Yeah, okay, but what if that’s exactly it?”

Taeyong pauses from lifting up a Petri dish, glancing over to stare at Taeil all bundled up and huddled in the corner, “What?”

Taeil takes a deep breath, “He’s always been the one chasing after me, like – he’s had a crush on me a whole _year_ before we got together, I mean – remember the first time he’d gotten sick, and I didn’t know what to do, and we got into that fight? I don’t know – ” Taeil closes his eyes, “What if he’s tired of me?”

A long pause settles between them.

He hears Taeyong tinker around, quiet on his feet for several moments more,

“He’s not _tired_ of you, Taeil,” Taeyong says with finality.

When Taeil opens his eyes again, Taeyong’s workbench is cleared and he’s by the yellow-plastic lined trash can, disposing of his gloves and washing his hands.

“Didn’t you say you had to stay in tonight?” Taeil stands, unbuttoning the first out of three coats he has on.

“I can’t work knowing you’re sitting there feeling sorry for yourself,” Taeyong huffs, shoving his glasses into the coat pocket and shrugging it off. “Over _nothing_ , might I remind you. Youngho’s just busy with school, you shouldn’t – ”

“I’m busy too!” Taeil protests, joining Taeyong over by the exit to hang the extra coats up. “Doesn’t mean I ever stop thinking about him… Or that I don’t ever want to see him…”

Taeyong runs a hand through his auburn hair, “Have you told him that? That you want to see him?”

No, he hasn’t.

“And how would you know he isn’t thinking about you?” Taeyong taps his card against the reader, letting them into the room adjacent to the lab. “He hasn’t said that, has he?”

Taeil picks shoves his hands into his pockets, “No, but I can _tell_.” Taeyong makes a noise of disbelief as he picks his messenger back from his cubby, and Taeil takes the chance to continue, “Seriously, he’s never not texted or – or called me at all before, not even when we were just friends, I – I’m not used to it.”

“Why don’t _you_ call him then?” Taeyong turns to lock the lab, then moving to the door across the room to let them out into the hallway. “You’re his boyfriend just as much as he’s _your_ boyfriend, do something about it if you’re that unhappy.”

“I’m not – ” Taeil sighs, insides tightening. “I’m not unhappy. I _am_ happy, I’m happy with Youngho, I just – what if. That’s all, what if.”

Taeyong leads them towards the stairs, “I say this, and I say this with affection: you’re being crazy, Taeil.”

“That’s what I need to hear from my best friend.”

“I’ve met Youngho and I’ve seen how he looks at you,” Taeyong reasons, hitching his bag higher up his shoulder. “I’ve never seen love like that, honestly, why are you doubting it?”

Taeil chews on his upper lip. Taeyong’s relationships have never lasted for more than three months. There’s always been a little bit of unspoken resentment over that, especially now that Taeil, resident one-date-and-dump-them has found himself the perfect boyfriend. Most of the guys Taeyong’s picked ended up being complete assholes. It’s even got Taeil’s scouring campus on Taeyong’s behalf, trying to sort the genuines from the ones that just wanted a quick night together.

“I’m not,” Taeil answers carefully. He’s already (theoretically) on the verge of losing Youngho, he didn’t want to fight with Taeyong too. “I just miss going out on dates and going for lunches and having him by my side.”

Taeyong folds his arms over his chest, “Maybe you’re just over the Honeymoon Phase.”

Taeil blinks, “The what?”

“The Honeymoon Phase,” he repeats. “Like, when you get over that excitement of being together, and you just feel bored with one another. You stop going out for dates, and you let everything cool down. It’s a normal thing in long relationships, you just have to talk to him about it.”

Taeil brain tunes into white noise. He stops in his tracks immediately, hand flying to grip onto the handrail,

“You think he’s _bored_ of me?”

Taeyong turns from three steps down, eyes wide, “No, Taeil – I just meant – you can’t be expecting Youngho to keep coming after you for the next ten, twenty, _thirty_ years. It doesn’t mean that you don’t – I don’t know – get all excited around him anymore, it just means you’ve just passed that stage and you’re a _real_ couple now.”

Taeil feels like all the air’s been punched out of his gut.

“It doesn’t mean that he loves you any less or that you don’t love him as much anymore,” Taeyong says watchfully. “You should just talk to him about it, okay? Don’t let your mind run wild, you’re not doing yourself any good.”

They don’t move until Taeil nods his head robotically, inching down the stairs with his hand still tight on the handrail.

When they get down and out onto the main street, Taeil’s still too quiet for comfort, so Taeyong says,

“Look, why don’t you text him right now? Ask him out to dinner?”

Taeil shakes his head, “He’s working on a project right now. I don’t want him to get distracted.”

“Okay,” Taeyong starts them down the path towards the city. “Just text him then. Say you’re hanging out with me, start the conversation.”

“What if – ”

“ _Oh_ , just _do_ it, Taeil!” Taeyong groans exasperatedly. “I’m not going to let you ruin this relationship you have just because you can’t keep your thoughts from running around. Text him, seriously. Or call him.”

Taeil sniffs, “I’ll text him.”

 

12NOV [19:04] **taeil** : hey  
12NOV [19:04] **taeil** : i’m hanging out with yong tonight  
12NOV [19:04] **taeil** : just wanted to tell you that

 

“‘Hey’?” Taeyong echoes. “You call him ‘hey’?”

Taeil presses his phone to his chest, “Don’t do that. Rude.”

“Fine,” Taeyong shrugs, clearing his throat.

They turn down to a pedestrian street, restaurants and pubs scattered all around. Taeyong slows, reading their menus and promotions, moving from place to place. Taeil, on the other hand, could care less about what they were having for dinner. He still has the messaging app pulled up on his phone, itching to hear from Youngho, whose status reads: _last seen, 19:03_.

Surely, he’d have seen the message?

“I really want steak,” Taeyong muses, skipping by a Japanese restaurant. “I think there’s a place up ahead that has really good deals Friday evenings.”

“Okay,” Taeil says distractedly. He didn’t even know it was already Friday.

Youngho’s status switches, _online._

And it flickers off, _last seen, 19:07._

Taeil locks his phone and stuffs it into his back pocket.

 _You’re overthinking_ , he tells himself, following Taeyong as he turns into a busy restaurant. _He’s just doing his work, that’s all_. _Don’t overthink it._

“Just two,” he hears Taeyong say, sounding as if he’s a distance away.

The waitress looks over her shoulder, “We’re full right now… but there’s a spot by the counter if you guys don’t mind?”

“Sure,” Taeyong nods.

They settle in quickly, with Taeyong sitting on Taeil’s left by the corner and empty seat on his right. Without words, they look through the menu, hunger trumping the need for words. The waitress comes by again to take their orders on a little notepad; Taeyong’s steak frites and Taeil’s double-slice of pepperoni pizza.

“Any drinks to go with that?”

“A strawberry milkshake for me,” Taeyong hands the menu back to her with an award-winning smile.

The tips of her ears are pink when she turns to Taeil, “And for you?”

He shoots down the urge to roll his eyes, “I’m good, thanks.”

She clutches their menus close, bumbling away with her head ducked down.

“You should save that smile of yours for someone you’d actually like,” Taeil says the moment she’s out of earshot.

Taeyong props his elbow on the counter, resting his cheek in his palm, “They aren’t going to run out.” He snorts, “We’ll talk when the right guy comes along.”

“No luck?” Taeil picks at the coasters between them.

“Nope,” Taeyong pops the _p_. “And I’m tired of it. Dating and then breaking up, and starting all over again.”

Neither of them were in a _rush_ to get married or anything like that, they were still in college, but Taeil can’t think of a time Taeyong _wasn’t_ looking for The One.

Taeyong taps the counter twice, “The right one will come, I _know_ it.”

Taeil gives him a small smile.

They were different like that. Taeyong’s dated to find love, he loved loving and being in love and staying in a relationship. He wanted to have someone with him all the time and he wanted something stable, something solid in his life.

Taeil dated for the thrill, the excitement. He just wanted to have fun, and if he did find the right guy, then great. Youngho not being one of Taeil’s one-date-and-dump-them victims was a miracle to begin with. That was then and that was that.

Now that Taeil’s gotten himself a boyfriend, he’s starting to see Taeyong’s side of it. Loving and being in love and being together with Youngho, every step of the way, doing things together… just everything.

It’s funny how things worked out.

“You’ll find him,” Taeil reassures in a small voice, not wanting to push the limits but still wanting Taeyong to feel assured. “He’ll come around.”

Taeil feels a pang in his heart when Taeyong sighs, eyes dewy,

“I just wish he’d hurry up.”

Before Taeil can say much else, the waitress is back with a tall glass holding some pale pink concoction, a visual enough to form cavities.

“Thanks,” Taeyong says, a little downcast. He doesn’t bother smiling at the waitress again, and Taeil feels a little sorry for the confusion on her face. She nods once, rejecting the tight smile Taeil offers her.

“You’re the only person I know who orders a milkshake at a bar,” Taeil jokes, changing the topic to get Taeyong to brighten a little.

“It’s good here,” Taeyong smacks his lips, taking a big sip. “They have more ice cream in here than the one from that ice cream parlour, sadly.”

The conversation moves onto other mindless things, and Taeil is happy to see Taeyong liven up at the mention of the dog adoption festival State is holding in two weeks. It’s an annual event to raise awareness and collect donations for the cause. A petting playpen is open to students too (entry’s at a fee of five dollars towards donations), and it’s really the only reason Taeyong goes every year.

“Will Youngho come with us this year?” Taeyong asks, just as the waitress returns with both their orders. She sets them down silently, leaving quicker than she had the previous time. Taeyong doesn’t notice, as per usual, picking his fork up and tucking in.

“Probably.”

Taeil checks his phone again, not wanting to have to after he’s gotten his hands dirty from his pizza.

 

12NOV [19:31] **youngho** : sorry i can’t join you guys  
12NOV [19:31] **youngho** : swamped!

 

Taeil’s brows furrow.

_That’s all? No ‘I love you’? No ‘I miss you’?_

 

12NOV [19:35] **taeil** : it’s okay  
12NOV [19:35] **taeil** : we’re just at a bar anyway

 

It’s petty, Taeil knows.

The reply is quicker this time, and Taeil’s wishes he weren’t so happy about it. It’d be less disappointing to read,

 

12NOV [19:36] **youngho** : okay, have fun!

 

“What did he say?” Taeyong asks, focused on cutting his steak up.

“Nothing important,” Taeil locks his phone and puts it away, taking a big bite of his pizza. He tries not to chew too angrily.

“Anyway, I think it’d be fun if we all went together.” Taeyong sets his knife down, satisfied with his masterpiece of cubed shaped beef. Without much to add on, Taeil hums noncommittally, and Taeyong drops the topic, thankfully, moving onto how his internet router at home seems to hate him.

Throughout the dinner, Taeil’s phone is silent. No buzzes, no pings, no _texts_.

His chest tightens with every minute that passes, even with Taeyong rambling on and on about the most miscellaneous things, and Taeil silently makes the decision to go over to Youngho’s to sort things out. If Youngho didn’t have feelings anymore or if he didn’t _care_ for Taeil anymore, he wasn’t going to sit in a bar and freak out about it. (He might go home and cry about it.)

 _Get it over and done with_ , he thinks miserably.

 _But I love him_.

“Should we get dessert?” Taeyong licks his lips, polishing off the last of his milkshake. “I’m thinking ice cream.”

Taeil balks, “You just _had_ ice cream, Yong.”

“I had this with dinner,” he argues, folding the receipt into his pocket. “It doesn’t count.”

“Sure, and I – ”

Taeil’s words are cut off when the bartender sidles up to them, a pink drink in his hand. A pink drink as in a Pink Gin, not a strawberry milkshake.

“From the nice gentleman at that corner booth,” the bartender smiles, nodding his head in said direction.

Taeil turns to look at who would be so straightforward to order Taeyong a drink, because, really, he’s only seen this happen in movies and on TV, he’s never seen this happened in real life.

“I can’t tell who it is,” Taeil murmurs, turning back to find Taeyong staring at him, appalled. “What?”

“What do you mean ‘what’?” Taeyong hisses, glaring at the drink and then up at Taeil again. “What are you _doing_?”

Taeil doesn’t know where this anger’s coming from, “I’m just trying to see who sent you that drink? Am I being obvious? I – ”

“You’re always obvious,” Taeyong rolls his eyes. Taeil parts his lips to argue, but Taeyong’s speaking again, “And _this_ ,” he nudges the drink with a finger, “isn’t for me. It’s for _you_.”

Taeil blanks.

Laying everything down right here, right now, Taeil doesn’t think he’s ugly. In fact, he thinks he’s pretty alright. He thinks Youngho’s the most perfect man on this planet, _but_ Taeyong is a different species completely, alright. Taeil has no problem admitting that between the two of them sitting at a bar, Taeyong _will_ get more drinks and phone numbers, _easy_.

“No, it’s not,” Taeil snorts. “It’s for you.”

Taeyong’s expression softens in comprehension. Did he think Taeil was _actually_ looking for who’d bought him a drink? Which, by the way, they didn’t –

“Actually,” the bartender interjects. He points a slender finger right at Taeil, “It’s for you.”

Taeil’s heart rams against his chest subconsciously.

His voice comes out strained, “No.”

“Yeah,” the bartender nods. “Small guy, black hair, cute face. I’m pretty sure.”

Taeil feels his skin crawl, but his heart is going at a hundred miles an hour.

It’s anger that’s brewing in his gut, “It’s not for me. I don’t _want_ it.”

The bartender looks perplexed, “It’s, uh, free?”

“I don’t – ”

“It’s fine,” Taeyong cuts Taeil off. “Thanks,” he tells the bartender, who walks away with a polite smile. He turns back to Taeil, “Wait, why are you getting mad?”

Taeil balls his hands into fists, “I – I don’t know. I – my heart just – won’t calm down? I – am I _happy_ over the idea of being flirted with?”

Taeyong pushes the drink away, “Look, no. It’s – just a drink, okay? You can have drinks with anyone, it’s not _wrong_ – ”

“But,” Taeil hasn’t felt like this in a while. _Someone was looking at me?_ Did he want someone else looking at him? “I don’t want to feel happy over it, I didn’t ask to be flirted with!”

“You can be in a relationship _and_ make new friends, Taeil – ”

 _No, you don’t understand._ That’s not it. Youngho has never stopped Taeil from hanging out with new and old friends alike, he’s confident in their relationship and their love and so is Taeil, but

Youngho’s been ignoring him, hasn’t he?

When was the last time Youngho’d made his heart hammer like that? A week ago? Two weeks ago? A month ago?

Has it really been that long or is Taeil just losing track of time?

For heaven’s sake, he’s _barely_ able to get a text back from his boyfriend, how –

It’s like the excitement’s back again in his life. Taeil, resident one-date-and-dump-them –

“Okay, _no_ , oh god – ”

Taeyong’s eyes are so wide, and the next thing Taeil knows, a hand is on his shoulder.

He looks up to see black hair and pale skin, big eyes and a straight nose, a suave smile and pearly white teeth,

“Hey, there.”

The hand on Taeil’s shoulder feels like it’s corroding his entire being.

His heart thumps when he feels his shoulder being squeezed once.

“I hope I’m not interrupting?”

Taeil hates it. He hates the situation, he hates this _guy_ , he hates the way his heart feels like it’s going to stop working. _I don’t want to like anyone else_ , his brain is telling him. _I only want Youngho_.

Without thinking, Taeil grabs the drink with a shaky hand, holding up to the stranger’s face,

“I have a boyfriend.”

The man isn’t fazed. With a sick smile, “Want my number just in case things go sour?”

Taeil’s heart stops immediately.

“You’re kidding me,” Taeyong rolls his eyes.

The stranger’s hand drops from Taeil’s shoulder. He breathes again.

“What about you? Got a boyfriend too?”

Taeyong’s lips flatten into a hard line. His eyes flash once, and Taeil really hopes he doesn’t cause a scene. Wordlessly, Taeyong hops off the bar stool, revealing himself to be a head shorter than this guy is.

Though, it doesn’t stop Taeyong from tipping the glass in the man’s hand, pouring the contents down the front of his very-expensive looking dress shirt. He splutters angrily, but Taeyong is already stalking out of the place, hauling Taeil along by the wrist.

“What an _ass_ ,” Taeyong curses under his breath. “For someone who looks like a donkey on steroids, he’s really got an _unwarranted_ amount of confidence, god.”

Taeil doesn’t have the strength to say anything. His hands are cold and his arms are weak, his shoulder feels like it’s going to fall off and his head is starting to hurt.

“Are you okay?” Taeyong asks, concern laced tight in his voice. “Do you – why are you so pale? Do you need water?”

Taeil frowns. He’s a little winded when he says, “I – I just feel horrible.”

Taeyong sighs, “It’s okay, there’re jerks everywhere, don’t – ”

“It’s not that!” Taeil panics. His phone is heavy in his back pocket. “I – I got _excited_ over someone buying me a drink, I don’t – I don’t want to feel like that for anyone else, Yong, I didn’t – ”

“It’s not abnormal, y’know,” he says over Taeil’s words. “Having crushes on other people while you’re in a relationship, I’ve heard it’s normal, and – ”

Taeil sucks in a deep breath, shaking his head stubbornly, “I don’t _want_ to have a crush, I don’t care if it’s normal, I don’t want it. I just – I _hate_ it, I don’t want to feel like this – I didn’t _ask_ for it – ”

“Calm _down_ , Taeil, you did nothing wrong – ”

The words leave his lips before he can stop them,

“Forget it, _you_ wouldn’t understand how it feels.”

Taeil’s blood freezes.

He hears Taeyong scoff once.

“As if I don’t already know that myself.”

Then he’s walking away, without a word, leaving Taeil alone and _guilty_.

 

x

 

Within the hour, Taeil finds himself at Youngho’s apartment building.

He’s sent Taeyong a thousand texts apologising for what he insinuated, and Taeyong’s read them all but never once responded. Even with his feet on Youngho’s doormat, his fingers are still furiously tapping against the screen, pleading that Taeyong not be angry with him, that he didn’t mean what he said, that he wasn’t thinking when he spoke.

A reply comes only after the thousandth message,

 

12NOV [22:05] **taeyong** : stop texting me  
12NOV [22:05] **taeyong:** you’re going to blow my phone up  
12NOV [22:05] **taeil** : i’m really sorry  
12NOV [22:05] **taeyong** : and stop apologising  
12NOV [22:06] **taeyong** : you’re forgiven  
12NOV [22:06] **taeyong** : but only if you speak to youngho  
12NOV [22:06] **taeil:** i’m sorry  
12NOV [22:06] **taeyong** : and if you pay for my playpen ticket  
12NOV [22:07] **taeil** : okay  
12NOV [22:08] **taeil** : sorry, still 

12NOV [22:12] **taeyong** : shut up, seriously

 

“Uh, hello?”

Taeil is startled to find the door to Youngho’s apartment already open, but it’s not Youngho. It’s just his roommate.

“Sorry,” the only word Taeil’s capable of saying tonight. “Is Youngho here?”

“Yes.” The roommate is only slightly shorter than Youngho is, but his frame is considerably smaller. He has dark hair and dark eyes, high cheekbones and a pair of bunny teeth that peek out when he asks, “And you are?”

They’ve really only met in passing and with Youngho spending more time at Taeil’s studio instead, he doesn’t expect to be remembered, but Doyoung seems to forget his name _every_ time he comes around,

“Moon Taeil. Youngho’s, uh, boyfriend?”

“Right,” he looks a little shifty. Taeil wonders if Youngho talks more about him than he lets on, he pins a mental tack to ask about it later. “Kim Doyoung, Youngho’s roommate.”

Taeil nods once in affirmation.

“Well,” Doyoung coughs awkwardly. “I’m going to a, uh, party, so…” Taeil only then notices that the boy’s in skinny jeans and a leather jacket. “You guys can have the apartment… to yourselves.”

Taeil’s cheeks _burn_.

Doyoung doesn’t give him the chance to react, slipping past Taeil, “Catch you around.”

Only when Doyoung rounds the corner does Taeil call out a small, “Bye.”

With the door open, Taeil skin prickles.

The apartment is not too familiar to him, but he remembers where most of the things are. He closes the door lightly, slipping out of his sneakers and lining them beside Youngho’s. The lights in the living hall and the kitchen are switched on, so Taeil makes his way around slowly, taking in all the books on the shelves and the leftovers sitting out on the kitchen table, under a netting.

For a split second, he wonders what it’d be like if _he_ lived here with Youngho instead.

He meanders into the hallway, passing by Doyoung’s room and going straight to Youngho’s, where the door is left ajar.

Holding his breath and gathering every drop of courage him, he peers into the room.

The weight on his shoulders is lifted instantly at the sight of Youngho at his desk, eyes glued to the screen of his laptop. There’s empty plates and bowls and an unreasonable number of opened cans of Redbull littering the table and the floor around him. He’s in a ratty sleep-shirt and just a pair of boxers, one leg up against the chair, his chin propped atop his knee as he works. The room is messy, but the bed is completely made, which makes Taeil worry over the lack of sleep Youngho’s been suffering from.

Taeil’s breath hitches when his eyes rake over the side profile of Youngho’s cheek and ear and mussed hair. From where he’s standing, Youngho’s nose looks a little straighter, and his lips look even fuller. Taeil can’t remember the last time he’s kissed them, the last them he’s been kissed _by_ them. Youngho’s arms are long and muscled and Taeil can’t remember the last time he’s been in them.

It’s an overwhelming amount of feelings to be having while standing in a dark hallway.

He inches the door open a little wider and Youngho’s eyes dart towards him immediately.

Taeil’s hand on the door turns to stone.

Youngho blinks at him once,

then he’s turning back to his laptop, unbothered.

Taeil frowns. Incredulous at the reaction, he pushes the door open fully,

Youngho jumps nearly a foot on his seat, yelping in surprise, “Taeil!”

“Hi,” he says, still confused at the initial reaction. “Did you – did you not see me earlier?”

Youngho plucks his headphones from his ears, resting them at the side. He stares at Taeil for a good heartbeat and a half. Then, he turns back to his laptop, moving the mouse around as he speaks, “I seriously thought I was hallucinating, like, _seriously_.”

Taeil can’t find it in him to laugh.

He’s standing right _here_ in Youngho’s room, and Youngho is still way over _there_ in his seat, possibly unhappy that Taeil’s come all this way to see him?

“How’s your project coming along?” Taeil doesn’t want to be a bother, but he isn’t about to leave just like that. Not after what’s happened. He doesn’t want to hide anything from Youngho.

“Fine,” Youngho answers with a sigh. “Just a lot going on, I’m having trouble keeping up with everything.”

“Oh,” Taeil says dully.

“How was dinner?” Youngho asks without much concern, as if he did it out of courtesy, since Taeil’d asked a question.

The night repeats itself like a movie in Taeil’s mind. He feels a pressure building up behind his eyes before he can even stop it.

He swallows thickly, “I – I have to tell you something.”

Youngho eyes don’t leave the screen, “What is it?”

Taeil clasps his hands in front of him, feeling so out of place, standing in the middle of Youngho’s room, “I had dinner with Taeyong.”

“I know,” Youngho types as he speaks. “Is that it?”

“No,” Taeil wishes Youngho would look at him. Would he be able to see how hard it is for him to talk about this?

Taeil’s never been the _clingy_ one. It’s always been Youngho, hasn’t it?

“We were having dinner at this bar.”

Youngho nods, tap-tap-tapping away.

“A – and the bartender came by,”

“Mmhmm.”

“He said – someone bought me a – a drink.”

Youngho is indifferent, “That’s nice.”

Taeil’s heart breaks.

So, it _is_ true.

Youngho’s tired of him. Tired of Taeil’s inability to last in a long relationship, tired of Taeil’s cluelessness when it came to being a good boyfriend, tired of Taeil, tired, tired, _tired_.

“He asked me for my number.”

The lie slips so easily.

 _I just want a reaction_ , Taeil is shameless. It’s hard for Youngho to get angry, he rarely ever does. He hugs himself, and it’s like he’s trying to contain the bad in him. As if he’s trying not to poison Youngho or their relationship any further.

Youngho remains uninterested, fingers still flying across his keyboard, “Okay.”

Taeil might as well lay his heart out on the floor for Youngho to stomp on.

Where did Youngho go? The one who kissed him at every chance? The one who sought him out every day? The one that loved him like there was no tomorrow?

A lie,

“I gave it to him. M – my number.”

Youngho’s hands pause over the keys.

Spurred, “I gave my number to – to the guy who bought me the drink.”

Youngho lets his leg drop to the floor.

Then, he shrugs, seemingly untroubled, “That’s fine.”

Taeil is speechless, “‘That’s _fine’_?”

Youngho still hasn’t looked over. In fact, he’s leaning closer to his laptop now, eyes scanning the screen, “Yeah. You didn’t have any ill-intentions, you should be able to – to make friends with whoever you want.”

Taeil wants to sink to the ground. Was Youngho going to break up with him? Or was he trying to make Taeil frustrated enough to do it himself?

“I’m not going to be that one boyfriend that says what you can or can’t do. It wasn’t like you wanted to go further with him, I don’t mind, Taeil.”

 _Don’t lie_.

“I did.” He whispers, last ounce of strength leaving his body at the weight of his lies, “I – I gave it to him because I – wanted to sleep with him.”

Youngho finally, finally, _finally_ looks at Taeil, and it’s a glare that he’s never seen before but Taeil will take what he can get.

Youngho stares at him, unblinking. His brows are knitted tightly together, and his jaw is clenched.

Just as Taeil thinks he’s going to say something, to _fight_ for them, to ask Taeil _why_ he did what he did (didn’t, technically),

Youngho turns back to his laptop.

Taeil is so close to running out the door when Youngho clicks around his screen, shutting his laptop with a loud _slam_.

He flinches.

Youngho swivels in his seat to face Taeil full on. He crosses his arms too, matching Taeil with a hard gaze.

“I know you’re lying,” Youngho’s voice is levelled.

_Oh._

“What I don’t know is _why_ you’re lying,” Youngho thinks aloud, lips pulled down into a frown.

Taeil digs his nails so hard into his arms, he can feel the sting even with his jacket on, “I – I’m not lying.”

Youngho doesn’t let up, “Yes, you are.”

“I’m not,” Taeil argues weakly, shrinking further into himself when Youngho stands, gaining inches above him. “I’m not lying.”

Youngho sighs, closing his eyes. He isn’t _angry_ , or at least he doesn’t look it, which confuses Taeil,

Wasn’t he jealous? Did he not care anymore?

“You are,” Youngho says softly. He crosses the distance between them, and Taeil’s too rooted to step away, so he looks at his feet, unable to hold Youngho’s questioning stare. “I already know you’re lying, so just tell me _why_ you’re making this up.”

Taeil uncrosses his arms, “I’m not making it up!” He says it to the ground because he just _can’t_ look at Youngho. “Somebody _did_ buy me a drink!”

“Okay.” Youngho’s so _close_ , Taeil can smell his heady scent mixed with berry body wash. All he wants to do is bury himself in it. All he wants to do is lie in bed together. All he wants to do is take everything back, he wishes he came straight here and not to Taeyong’s lab.

He wouldn’t have been hit on then.

“Somebody bought you a drink. Did you give them your number because you wanted to _sleep_ with them?”

Taeil fights the shudder the runs up his spine. He can see Youngho’s hands loosely by the side, and his feet are tucked into a pair of overly-cute bedroom slippers with a dog embroidered on it.

His vision starts to blur.

“Did you?” Youngho asks again. “Did you give someone your number because you wanted to sleep with them?”

_Don’t break, don’t break, don’t break._

Youngho pushes, “Taeil. Talk to me. Did you or did you not?”

Taeil tries to telepathically tell Youngho to take him into his arms.

It doesn’t work.

“Taeil.”

With a heavy inhale, Taeil throws himself against Youngho, shaking his head as a sob courses through him violently.

Immediately, without needing to hear his answer, Youngho’s arms are around him, and his lips are on Taeil’s crown.

“I – I didn’t,” Taeil blubbers, tangling his fingers into the hem of Youngho’s shirt. He hiccups through his breaths, unable to contain the misery in him. “I – I didn’t. It was a – a lie.”

The emotions break like a floodgate. From worrying over Youngho falling out of love and getting tired of him, to the guilt that’d set so deep in him within the hour it took to get to Youngho’s apartment over feeling unwillingly happy at the thought of _attention_ on him.

He clings onto Youngho, pressing his face into Youngho’s chest and taking him in with every inhale.

Youngho’s arms are strong around Taeil, holding him up and wound around tight like he was trying to keep Taeil from breaking apart.

“Baby,” he murmurs into Taeil’s hair. Another hiccup escapes him. “What – what happened? Why are you – did something happen?”

Taeil can’t answer, not when he’s still trying to cope with having Youngho back in his arms.

Youngho crouches to hoist Taeil up without much difficulty, and Taeil wraps his legs around Youngho’s waist, arms around Youngho’s neck. He plants his face into the crook of Youngho’s neck, trying to keep his sniffling to a minimum. Youngho manoeuvres them until they’re on his bed with his back is against the headboard.

He settles into the pillows and Taeil slumps against Youngho, keeping their bodies flush. Youngho doesn’t ask any other questions, running a palm along Taeil’s spine, other hand messaging the flesh of his thigh.

Once the tears dry and his breathing evens out, Taeil feels the embarrassment wash over him like a new wound. He moves to have his cheek against Youngho’s clavicle. Hoping the other wouldn’t be looking, Taeil glances up to take a peek at Youngho’s features only to find that Youngho _is_ looking at him, troubled and confused at the situation.

Taeil looks back down immediately, tucking himself under Youngho’s chin to hide his face away.

Youngho doesn’t probe. He goes back to drawing mindless patterns into Taeil’s back, humming one of those old 90s songs he loved to listen to. Taeil closes his eyes and feels the vibrations thrum against his cheek, wishing the moment would last forever.

Alas, it cannot.

When Taeil feels his legs and back beginning to ache, he moves away reluctantly, and Youngho’s hands drop to the sides.

As expected Youngho is staring at him intently, expression now clear. A blank canvas.

“Sorry,” Taeil’s voice is hoarse. Clearing his throat, “You probably have a lot of work,” he edges off the bed, “I should go, I’ll – ”

“Taeil,” Youngho stops him immediately. Taeil holds his breath. He wouldn’t know what to do if Youngho’d let him go. “Talk to me.”

He tries to put on a brave front, eyes trained onto the dip of Youngho’s shirt from where it’s been stretched too much, “It’s nothing, I just – I wasn’t thinking, I’m – ”

Youngho cups his cheek to have him look up, and so he does, because he’s weak for Youngho’s touch. His eyes search Taeil’s, and Taeil tries to hide the sadness that’s mellowed in him. Taeil offers a small smile, but Youngho doesn’t buy it.

Taeil lets Youngho kiss him, because he’s weak for Youngho, in general, really.

He sighs into the kiss, opening up for Youngho easily. Youngho kisses him gently, licking just the tip to Taeil’s tongue, just over the grooves of his teeth lightly, as if he’s trying to coax the truth out of him. He sucks on Taeil’s lower lip, thumb grazing over the highs of Taeil’s cheek.

“Don’t lie,” Youngho mumbles against his lips.

Taeil jerks his head away, the guilt strangling his throat at the words that were so unexpected.

“Talk to me,” Youngho says, hands strong around Taeil’s hips. “I – I won’t get mad if you gave your number to someone else, but _why_ did you give it away? Did you – did you really want to – ”

“No!” Taeil cringes at his own outburst.

Youngho, on the other hand, is unaffected, “Okay.” He tucks an invisible tuft of hair behind Taeil’s ear, leaving his hand there for Taeil to lean into, “Then why did you say that?”

Taeil bites on his lip, refusing to speak of it.

“You’re going to have to tell me,” Youngho says quietly. He gives Taeil a wry smile, “I’ll never sleep easy if you don’t. What’s worrying you, babe?”

Taeil grabs onto the front of Youngho’s short, steadying himself, “I went to the bar with Taeyong. For dinner, and – somebody bought me a drink.”

Youngho nods, serious.

“I didn’t know it was for me,” Taeil recounts, staring at the coffee stain on Youngho’s shirt. He feels Youngho tilting his head down, trying to get a good look of his face. “I thought it was for Taeyong, and then – then, the guy who bought the drink came over.”

“But I told him I had a boyfriend, and he tried to hit on Taeyong, but Taeyong poured the drink on him, and we left.”

Youngho pushes his thumb under Taeil’s shirt, grazing gently over the soft skin above his hipbones.

“Is that what got you upset?” Youngho asks, still trying to get a good look of Taeil’s face. “That you thought I’d be _mad_ that you got hit on?”

“No,” Taeil clamps his mouth shut.

“What is it, then?”

Taeil wishes he didn’t have to explain it, “He – he made me feel _things_.”

Youngho stones under him. “What?”

Taeil falls against Youngho’s chest, words coming out in one lone breath,

“I just felt happy getting attention from someone because you’ve been so busy, but I only want the attention from you and I felt so _angry_ at myself for getting happy over a stupid drink.”

For a moment that lasts too long, Youngho is silent. He doesn’t move or speak, Taeil’s not really sure if he’s even awake.

The moment after, Youngho is tossing Taeil onto the bed, pulling a squawking boyfriend close. He hugs Taeil, draping his legs over Taeil’s torso, which doesn’t work out quite well when his legs are _that_ much longer than Taeil’s. Youngho rests his forehead to Taeil’s, and it’s been so long since they’ve had any sort of intimacy that Taeil has to look at Youngho’s lips instead.

“I love you,” Youngho whispers, and Taeil sees the kiss before he feels it. It’s gone too quickly, “I’m sorry I’ve been busy.”

“No, it’s okay,” Taeil presses his palms against Youngho’s chest, feeling Youngho’s heart beat. “I know you’ve been – stressed, that’s why I – didn’t call or text – I didn’t want to bother you.”

Youngho sighs, inching closer to brush his nose with Taeil’s, “You wouldn’t have been a bother.” He closes his eyes and Taeil only has the courage then to look at him proper, apology on the tip of tongue when he notices how tired Youngho looks.

He reaches up to trace a finger over the dark circles under Youngho's eyes.

“I’ve been chasing deadlines the past week and my group just sucks this term,” Youngho deflates. “No one does anything and I feel like I have to personally watch over them as they do their work, and it just takes up _so_ much time, I’ve fallen asleep at that desk more times that I’d like to count.”

Taeil kisses Youngho chastely.

“I didn’t want you to think like you had to choose me over work,” Taeil mumbles. Even though he did, at some point. “I just – I’m not used to not having you around anymore. I was – I was afraid we were over our Honeymoon Phase.”

Youngho cracks an eye open, “Our what?”

Taeil drags his hand up to splay his fingers under Youngho’s jaw, “Honeymoon Phase. Like all the good parts, and – after that, it’s when you get – bored.”

Youngho is cautious when asking, “Is that why you were upset? You thought I got _bored_ with you and stopped texting?”

Taeil pinches him lightly, “Don’t say that like it’s impossible.”

“It _is_ impossible,” Youngho says steadily. “I don’t care what _phase_ we’re in, I _know_ I’m going to love you forever, so don’t ever think that again.”

Taeil closes his eyes, “Taeyong says it’s normal, y’know?”

“What is?”

“That couples stop going on dates as often. And they don’t feel excited around each other anymore, because they’re so used to one another.”

“And?” Youngho smooths this thumb over the tender spot under Taeil’s ear. “Is that a bad thing? Being comfortable with one another?”

“I just mean,” Taeil wants to hide under the covers,

“That guy – from the bar – he had me all excited over a drink, and I don’t want that. I only want that with you. And – it scares me that we stopped talking for two weeks and I just missed you so much, I didn’t know if you missed me, and I’ve never felt like this before. All I’ve been thinking about is if I’ll never feel that way with you again, and it scares me, Youngho.”

The silence that follows is distressing.

“Okay, first of all,” Youngho wriggles closer, tempting Taeil to open his eyes. He does, and it’s even more distressing to see that Youngho is _smiling_.

“I don’t care what Taeyong says. I’ll love you until the end of forever, and if not, for even longer than forever. It’s true that the adrenaline of _getting_ together won’t last, but that’s not a _bad_ thing, right? That just means that we’re growing together, and there’ll be other things to experience together even past the first year of our relationship, _and_ – ”

Youngho takes a deep breath,

“I’m really excited to spend that with you.”

Taeil really, _really_ tries not to cry.

“There’s still a thousand and more things we haven’t yet experienced together, and I’m excited to one day do all those with you. We haven’t travelled together, we haven’t been to a wedding together, heck, we haven’t even gone _furniture_ shopping together.”

“You might say that it’s your first relationship, babe, but it’s _my_ first relationship with you too, y’know? I’m just as nervous and I want to be around you all the time too, if that wasn’t already obvious enough.” Youngho thumbs at Taeil’s lip gently, “I won’t say that it doesn’t bother me that you feel happy getting hit on by other guys. I don’t want you to feel bad, okay? It’s only temporary, isn’t it? You don’t feel anything for him anymore, do you?”

Taeil doesn’t know how to explain that he never liked the guy at _all_ , he just couldn’t help his body from reacting. But he shakes his head, supposing that it’s the same meaning either way.

“Just know that _I_ love you the most,” Youngho’s tone slights teasingly, but his eyes are serious. “Everything else is temporary, because you have me, and I’ll be here for as long as you want me to. If you’re worried about losing the spark, I can assure you that I won’t go down without a fight.”

“Because I know it’s _you_ , Taeil. I know that you’re the one for me, and even if the going gets tough, the tough gets going, and we’ll make things work. I can promise you that I will _try_ , every step of the way, I’ll try, for us.”

“Will you?”

Taeil nods, and there’s really not much else he can do with tears streaking down his cheeks.

“C’mere,” Youngho whispers, and Taeil listens, diving back into Youngho’s arms. “I love you.”

“Me too,” Taeil mumbles. “I love you too.”

Youngho hums, going back to caressing Taeil. Then,

“Also… didn’t I see you on Monday?”

Taeil stalls, “Huh?”

“Monday,” Youngho repeats. “We had dinner together on Monday. I went over, remember?”

Taeil really doesn’t.

“And it’s only Friday... I haven’t _not_ seen you for two weeks, Taeil. It’s been, like, three days.”

“We didn’t have dinner together on Monday,” he defends. “I – my paper was due Monday, you didn’t come over.”

“Yes, I did.” _Oh_ , Taeil can _hear_ the smile in Youngho’s voice. “I’m pretty sure I was there, because _you_ were rushing _your_ assignment and _you_ said I was going to suffer on Friday, today, because I wasn’t done with mine either.”

Taeil… remembers.

He remembers being anxious and rushing through the last concluding pages and,

being spoon-fed noodle soup and being annoyed at Youngho for laughing at him and,

having Youngho stay the night after he was done and cuddling to sleep together after too.

It’s such a blur, Taeil barely remembers the topic of his research paper.

“Taeil,” Youngho stifles a laugh. “It’s been _three_ days.”

“Stop it,” he grumbles, heat on his cheeks. “I just – I really missed you, okay?”

Youngho coos, tilting Taeil back and peppering kisses all over his cheeks, “Aw, babe, I missed you too.”

“God, you’re so annoying,” Taeil smiles anyway, playfully swatting Youngho away. Oh, “Wait,” he grabs Youngho by the cheeks, holding him away. Youngho blinks, looking adorable with his cheeks squished in Taeil’s hands, “Isn’t your paper due tonight then?”

“Yes,” he answers through mushed cheeks.

Taeil lets go, “Have you submitted it?”

“No,” Youngho rubs at his cheek with a feign look of hurt. “My boyfriend stormed into my room freaking out, I think I’ve got my priorities straight here.”

“Youngho!” Taeil berates, regaining his sense of morality. “Get up, oh my _god_ , isn’t this your final paper?”

“I’m almost done,” Youngho argues, reaching over to take Taeil back in his arms. And he’s back. “Where did that other Taeil go? Bring him back here, I want to cuddle.”

“ _No_ ,” Taeil practically yanks Youngho out of bed. “Work on your paper, okay? We can hang out tomorrow.”

“Wait, what, no,” Youngho pulls Taeil back down, and the other has no choice ( _really_ ) but to clamber back onto Youngho’s lap. “I’m honestly just editing through the final draft right now. Why don’t you – stay the night?”

Taeil can’t deny how eager he is to spend more time with Youngho. Three days or not, he’s really missed his boyfriend.

“I don’t have any extra clothes.”

Youngho kisses Taeil’s chin, “I think you could fit Doyoung’s, but he’d kill me if he found out.” Humming, he deposits Taeil onto the bed, walking over to his chest of drawers and digging through them. “I still have some clothes that shrunk in the wash from that first time we got the machine.” After a moment more, a shirt and a pair of boxers are brandished, “Here. These should fit you fine, I think.”

Taeil takes them when Youngho crawls over the bed, kissing him again, “Can I really stay the night?”

Youngho raises a brow, “Have you never?”

“Not really,” he recalls. They spend too much time at Taeil's. “Your roommate’s always around.”

“Huh,” Youngho scratches his arm. “I didn’t know you’ve never stayed.” He smiles, “Doyoung’s out tonight, but even if he weren’t, you can stay anytime, babe.”

Taeil says nothing, kissing Youngho quickly before hopping off the bed and padding into Youngho’s en suite.

He showers while he’s at it, examining Youngho’s array of shampoo and conditioners and body soap. Knowing that Youngho’s still finishing up his assignment, Taeil takes his time, really, really _cleaning_ up before returning to the room in the loaned outfit.

Youngho has his headphones back in, and he doesn’t notice Taeil out of the shower. So, Taeil moves quietly, leaving his clothes by Youngho’s chest of drawers and climbing back into bed, slipping under the covers. He buries his nose into the pillow, feeling light-headed at the idea of being clad in Youngho’s clothes, being surrounded by Youngho’s blanket.

Taeil’s about to fall asleep when he notices Youngho navigating towards the school’s website and uploading the files needed for his project. He watches with bated breath as Youngho wriggles in victory after submission, plucking his headphones from his ears for the second time tonight.

He groans as he pushes himself off the chair, stretching his arms over his head.

Then, he notices Taeil tucked in bed,

“Comfy?”

Taeil nods, hiding his smile, “I’d feel a lot comfier if you were here with me.”

Youngho winks, and the blush on Taeil’s cheeks are still there even after he’s gone into the bathroom to clean up. Taeil’s heart flutters when the sound of the tap running is shut off, and Youngho re-emerges with a smile on his face.

On his way to the bed, he shuts the lights off, and Taeil lifts the covers to welcome him.

“Hey,” Youngho calls when he’s finally settled in, hair a little damp from where he must’ve run his wet hands through.

“Hi,” Taeil answers, heart full.

No random guy at any random bar could make him feel like this. Not even a mile close.

“Love you,” Youngho says, dipping forward to pressing their lips together.

When Youngho pulls away, Taeil smiles, “I love you too.”

And Youngho kisses him again, teeth clacking when their smiles grow too wide. Taeil lets Youngho kiss him hard and harder, until the giggles are gone and Taeil finds himself moaning from just his kisses. Youngho licks at the seam of his lips, licking fervently, breaths mingling together hotly. He moves to hover over Taeil, and the latter arches his back off the bed and towards Youngho’s chest, moaning again at the contact.

Youngho moves to kiss at Taeil’s neck, so faintly that his breath makes Taeil shiver uncontrollably. His neck has always been his weak spot.

“Aren’t you tired?” He asks, twining his arms around Youngho’s neck and pulling him closer. “Y – you haven’t been sleeping well, have you?”

“‘M not tired,” Youngho runs his hands under Taeil’s shirt, “Are you?”

“No,” Taeil gasps, whimpering at the touch on his chest and neck. “I’m not – tired.”

“Did you miss me?” Youngho laughs into his skin, biting gently.

Taeil’s hips jerk upwards, half hard dick brushing against Youngho’s torso, “ _Yes._ ” And, before he loses his mind completely, “Did you? Miss me?”

“More than you did,” Youngho murmurs, running his hands along the planes of Taeil’s chest, making him shudder. “I wanted to see you, but I knew you’d just seduce me into bed.”

Taeil scoffs, quelling the moan that threatens to break through when Youngho licks a wet strip up his neck, “Me? Seduce _you_?”

“Yeah,” Youngho exhales heavily. He lifts himself to pull his shirt up and off, helping with Taeil’s too, discarding them both to the ground. “Like what you’re doing now,” he mutters, sitting back on his heels to admire Taeil’s form.

“Don’t be annoying,” Taeil scolds, feeling his hard-on throb when Youngho licks his lips, delving forward to suck at Taeil’s tummy. He leaves a rosy bruise, and Taeil can’t help but comment, “That’s an odd place to leave a hickey.”

“Hm?” Youngho groans as he lies atop Taeil, purposefully aligning their crotches together.

Taeil tries to get any sort of friction, but he’s denied of it. He tries to get Youngho to kiss him, but he’s denied of that too. He whimpers in frustration, grabbing Youngho by the arm.

“Where do you want me to leave one then?”

Taeil’s too embarrassed to ask.

“Here?” Youngho’s fingers stroke the curve of Taeil’s collarbone. Feather-light.

Taeil shakes his head, eyes fluttering shut.

Youngho’s fingers trail down to over his sternum, and Taeil complains with a whine.

“Am I getting colder or warmer?”

Taeil grits his teeth. Youngho full well knows where. He doesn’t have to open his eyes to know Youngho’s grinning.

Youngho moves further down his torso. Taeil gives in,

“Colder.”

Satisfied, Youngho moves upwards, pausing, waiting for Taeil’s instructions,

“Warmer.”

By then, it’s easy game. Youngho draws circles into Taeil’s skin, moving towards the column of Taeil’s neck.

“Warmer,” Taeil whispers, just as Youngho caresses the base of his neck, the indent between his collarbones. “Youngho,” he pleads. “Your lips.”

“Want me to mark you?”

Taeil nods, shivering at the words. He’s never wanted it _this_ badly before. It’s all fun and games, having a hickey and getting made fun of for having it so obviously high up his neck, but they’re still in college, and if anything, Taeil _liked_ having people notice it.

Youngho doesn’t do it often, or if he does, it’s not too high up, not too difficult to hide. It’s never been a staple in their relationship,

but just for today,

Taeil wants it. And he wants it _bad_.

“Mark me,” he begs, threading his fingers into Youngho’s dark hair. “Mark me, baby.”

Youngho doesn’t wait to please him, latching his lips to a spot an inch under Taeil’s ear and sucking _hard_.

Taeil whimpers, hips bucking in a frenzy at Youngho’s lips on his sensitive skin. Youngho holds him down with a free hand, and Taeil’s about to cry out when Youngho strokes him through the thin material of his boxers, bringing him relief. Taeil moans loudly, and Youngho pulls away after biting down once, licking at the bruise that’s sure to form.

“Youngho, _please_ ,” he manages, fingers circling around Youngho’s wrist to stop him. Youngho withdraws, clamouring over to his bedside table to retrieve a bottle of lube and a condom. He kisses Taeil as they undress, a job made harder with their lips together, but they make it work. Youngho kicks the blanket off, reaching under his bed for a clean towel.

“Hips,” he mutters, and Taeil lifts them, letting Youngho slide the bath towel under him.

Youngho settles between Taeil’s legs, and they fall open without much resistance. He lubes his fingers up, warming them quickly. They fill Taeil up easily, long and slender, reaching more than Taeil could ever on his own. Youngho curves the pads of his fingers against Taeil’s walls, knowing just how much it drives him crazy.

Taeil concentrates on his breathing, wanting prep to be over and done with as fast as possible so that he could have Youngho inside him.

“Okay?” Youngho asks, leaning forward to press kisses of distraction into Taeil’s neck, ghosting over the red-purple mark. He spreads his fingers apart, and Taeil whines, unhappy with the time it takes, but knowing that it’ll be worth it. “Hurt?”

“No,” Taeil heaves. He digs his heels into the bed, feeling Youngho’s hard-on graze against his thigh. Blindly, he reaches for it, and Youngho groans when he starts to spread the precome that’d beaded at the top. He wishes he’d offer to suck Youngho off first.

“One more.”

Another is added slowly, and Taeil squirms at the breach. He strokes Youngho harder, focusing on the way Youngho’s panting over his shoulder rather than the pain shooting up his back. Just when it’s getting too difficult, Youngho kisses him, and Taeil feels his body lift off the bed when Youngho’s presses the pad of his forefinger onto his prostate.

He cries out, confused at the pain and pleasure before finally settling on the pleasure that rushes through him when Youngho massages him and kisses him languidly. Taeil’s breath starts to expel in short, shallow puffs, squeaking a high whine when his gut coils a little too tightly.

“Taeil,” Youngho groans, angling his hips away from Taeil's hand.

“Okay,” he answers without needing an explanation. Taeil chews on his lip when Youngho pulls his fingers out, trying to keep his legs from closing as Youngho shifts to slot himself between them.

“Help,” Youngho mumbles, patting around the bed with his clean hand and handing the condom to Taeil.

Taeil reaches for it, and then he retracts his hands just as Youngho lets go. The condom drops on his chest.

“Wha – ”

“I don’t want to use one,” Taeil huffs, trying to calm down before Youngho fucks him mad.

“Taeil – ”

He grabs the condom and tosses it towards the general direction of Youngho’s bedside table.

Youngho pauses, “Are you sure?”

Taeil nods, “This is why we got tested, right?”

They did. When they’d first started dating, they went to get checked and were both clean. It was recommended to keep the condoms until three months into the relationship, and Taeil’s been ready since then.

“Then, do I – ” Youngho fidgets on his knees. “Where do I – do I pull out – ”

“ _In_ me,” Taeil is sure. “C’mon.”

Youngho groans, and he slicks himself up once more, lining him up to Taeil.

“Ready?”

Taeil moans at the heat of Youngho pressed against his entrance. His stomach flutters and what’s to come.

“ _Yes_.”

Youngho cleans his hands onto the towel before he grabs Taeil by the hips and pushes in. Taeil’s mouth hangs open at the pressure, at this new feeling of just Youngho and no latex, no rubber, just _hot_. Youngho goes slowly, letting Taeil relax around him. He waits after he’s fully seated, easing himself, running his hands over the length of Taeil’s thighs.

Taeil’s hips twitch first, and Youngho knows better than to start moving immediately. Taeil motions for Youngho to come closer and he does carefully, not wanting to move too much in him. He wraps his arms around Youngho’s chest where he can reach, lips latching onto Youngho’s shoulder in preparation. Youngho leans down on his elbows, arms caging around Taeil. He presses a quick kiss to Taeil’s forehead.

“Yes,” Taeil mumbles against his shoulder, tongue darting out to lick him.

Youngho starts to roll his hips, and they catch when Taeil ass tightens around him instinctively. He groans when Taeil ruts to meet with his thrusts, chasing after his own pleasure. Taeil moans loudly, feeling Youngho in him full and hot and _everything_. He bites onto Youngho’s shoulder and his fingers dig into Youngho’s back as he starts to speed up.

Youngho readjusts; he traps his arms under Taeil’s shoulders before leaning back down on his elbows, tugging on Taeil’s hair where they so conveniently are. He moves to situate closer, lessening the distance between them, bodies completely pressed from shoulder to crotch.

When Youngho starts slamming into Taeil again, the thrusts are shallow, but they’re harder and _faster_.

“ _Ah – please – ”_

Taeil lifts his legs to accommodate more, hooking his ankles just over the small of Youngho’s back, pulling Youngho closer while he’s at it. He feels the bed shake under them, and he lets his head fall back against the pillows where Youngho is still holding onto him, but his back is curving off the bed as he writhes under Youngho.

“Close – ”

Taeil comes first before Youngho can finish the thought, and he’s still shaking through it when Youngho comes, shooting deep in Taeil, coating his insides warm. His eyes are closed, and he lets Youngho ride it out in him, coming from his high too.

Several thrusts later and Youngho’s pulling out slowly. Taeil groans at the feeling of Youngho spilling out of him, trickling onto the towel that Youngho’d thankfully laid there.

“We’ve got to get you cleaned up,” Youngho says breathlessly, still half on Taeil, cheek against on his pillows.

“No way,” Taeil tries to turn away, but Youngho cups his cheek to have him turn back around.

“It’s bad if it dries, babe,” Youngho kisses him, persuading.

“My ass is _throbbing_ , I’m not doing anything.”

“I’ll help you,” Youngho nuzzles his cheek. “Let’s take a shower together.”

Taeil rolls his eyes, swiping at Youngho’s sweaty forehead, giving in at the thought of that, “I love you.”

Youngho’s grin is wide and bright even under just streaks of moonlight, “I love you too.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(“An adoption festival?”

Taeil nods, spreading jam over a piece of toast while Youngho scoured the pantry for juice.

“Taeyong and I usually go together every year. You should join us this time, he has a _ball_ in the playpen.”

“I’ve actually heard about that,” Youngho pulls a carton of apple juice from the top most cupboard. “Doyoung was scheduled film club activities for that event, filming and all that, but I think they rescheduled him another gig a couple of days ago.”

“Really?” Taeil wonders what it would be like to have Taeyong _and_ Doyoung in the same setting. That’d be odd.

“Yeah, a pity too,” Youngho sniffs. “He really wanted to work that event.”

Taeil brightens, “Does he like animals?”

“Not really.” He pours them each a mug full, “I think his new girlfriend’s a volunteer for it, so he was pretty upset about it.”

 _Oh_.

“Why?”

Taeil shoves the thought of Taeyong out of his mind. Maybe not then.

“Nothing. I was just wondering, but you’ll come with us, right?”

Youngho kisses him once, “‘Course I will, babe.”)

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> (theoretically, this should make sense even if you haven't read any other parts of the series or understanding how johnil got together (friends to lovers, briefly mentioned) which is a plot already in my mind but i haven't yet written so i hope it's not confusing...) (many easter eggs in here, and a personal apology sent to dotae, ah)
> 
> (also, considerably shorter than all of the standalones in the asode universe and not as important in plot, but i'm trying to see if it'd be better if i posted these separately so please bear with me...)
> 
> kudos + comments / criticisms are greatly appreciated ♡ feedback warmly welcomed! [twitter](https://twitter.com/jenhyungs) | [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/jenhyung)


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